I've said it before, but it really is completely amazing how much you can love something that is just over an inch big and you've never seen before in your life except on a monitor. In the beginning, I worried a lot about how good of a mom I would be, would I get too stressed out, would the baby drive me nuts, is this too soon, etc., etc. and now that's all gone.
Being pregnant in and of itself is, frankly, a miracle. I'm semi-pro choice (still am), but I do have to admit, seeing our baby at 8 1/2 weeks looking just like a little baby really made me think about my views on abortion. Even though I semi-believe in abortion, I still believe life happens at the moment of conception. Right now, at almost 10 weeks, my baby is probably already moving its arms and legs and soon its brain will start functioning and taking over its heart functions. 10 weeks ago, I hadn't even ovulated yet -- hell, just over 8 weeks ago, my egg had just been fertilized. In 8 weeks, it went from a fertilized egg, to a cluster of cells, to an actual distinguishable baby who moves. It's just freaking amazing.
I think I've grown spiritually the last 8 weeks more than I ever have in my entire life. I almost feel like such a dumbass for ever doubting the goodness of God. After I saw the baby a week and a half ago, I was just in awe. I'm not saying I'm some bible thumper or scripture preacher, but so many times I like to think *I'm* in control and that God is more of a person I know and hear about rather than an important part of my life. But, that has completely changed after seeing the baby. I am most definitely not in control and there is most definitely something higher than you or me who can turn a simple egg and sperm cell into a distinguishable human being in the matter of 8 weeks who eventually down the road will be able to think, hear, and feel before it ever even enters this world. It's just freaking amazing.
No comments:
Post a Comment